Am I codependent?
Did you know that at least one fourth of the population is in a family that is affected by addiction? Not just a relative who is an alcoholic/addict, but a first-degree relative! Close to 90% of all actively addicted persons live with their family or a significant other. That family or significant other is you, me and everyone else affected by addiction and who struggles with codependency.
Ask yourself, am I codependent? You look at yourself and you think 'no, I am a loving, caring individual who is trying to help the addict in my life.' This is true, you are a loving, caring individual. And you ARE trying to help the alcoholic/addict overcome their addictions. But, are you caring about you? Are you loving and caring toward the person who needs it the most yourself?
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Here are some characteristics of Codependent behavior. Can you see yourself in any of these?
- You go the extra mile to keep the peace in your home
- You feel responsible for other peoples feelings, choices, wants, needs, etc.
- Try to please others all the time, regardless if you are happy or not
- Are unable to say no even when your are already stretched thin
- Feel guilty when someone is giving to you
- Feel angry and victimized
- You try to catch your addict in the act of misbehaving
- You are constantly searching for clues or some concrete proof of alcohol in the home
- You always try to prove yourself, yet you never feel you measure up
- You fear rejection
- You are very hard on yourself. You are unhappy with how your look, think, feel, & act
- You blame yourself
- You desperately need love and affection
- You lie to yourself that you can fix it
- You wonder why you can't catch up and get things done
- You say what you THINK people want to hear instead of what you THINK
- You blame others for your problems
- You feel guilt for everything. Guilt for enjoying something, guilt for spending money on yourself. Just GUILT!
- You believe you opinion doesn't matter
- You lie to protect the ones you love and to cover up for them
- You lie to cover up for yourself
- You have difficulty expressing your emotions honestly
This list could go on and on and you may not feel like everything on the list applies to you. But even if some of it does, you could be codependent. Life does seem unbearable at times you don't want to put another step forward. But life is good! We just need to change our outlook and learn to deal with our alcoholics differently!
You are a person of worth! Remember that you CAN break free from codependency.
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